Rewrite - Day 2

So far I've revised the first seven chapters. I've modified some sentences, removed clunks, and generally spruced things up. I've also made some significant changes, such as more description of the settings (something the first draft severely lacked) and revised some points to better connect to what happens later as the story progresses. I've also dropped in a few things to foreshadow events toward the end of the novel - the things that surprised me as I wrote them, so couldn't anticipate at the start.

I'm being methodical about this. As I go I'm keeping a record of what's been changed, plus a summary of each chapter's events. My hope is that when this rewrite is done I can read through the summaries and see any further changes that need to be made in terms of the plot's development. Also, it might help me when it comes time to write the dreaded synopsis.

Anyway, I'm still having fun with this. :)

Starting rewrite #1

It's Boxing Day and I have a little more than a week off work. When I say I have a week off, that's not entirely accurate in that I have work to do for my business, but I have more free time than I ordinarily would so I'm going to spend it on my first proper rewrite.

I haven't touched the novel in a couple of weeks. My disappointment at not hooking Miss Snark has taken some of the shine off it for me, but I hope I'll be able to muster up my old enthusiasm as I get into it. I'm going to go over it fixing obvious things and making notes about larger structural issues that will need to be addressed in the next round.

I probably won't post until after that.

I am deflated

So, I got shot down over at Miss Snark's Crapometer. I'm pretty gutted, but at least I got more than a "WTF?" or a "This sux!"

I'm determined not to let this setback bother me too much. Miss Snark made some very useful points, and I intend to implement them when I returen to the hook. However, I won't be doing that until the novel is at its final draft. I intend to work on my first proper rewrite starting next week, while I'm on holiday. After that, I'll play it by ear.

This has been a useful exercise, even if I was disappointed at the outcome. Writing the hook has helped me focus on what the novel's actually about. I willy apply what I've learned in rewrites.

If I don't post beforehand, Merry Christmas to all. :)

Nearing the front of the queue...

Oh, God. Miss Snark is at number 221. I am number 248. So, in the nexy twenty-four hours, I am in the firing line. I'm a little bit excited, but I'm mostly fucking terrified. I haven't used the F-word in my blog before, as far as I can recall, but this seemed the appropriate moment.

What am I going to do if I get reamed? I don't know. I'll be discouraged, but I'll soldier on. I'll take her comments on board and apply them as constructively as I can. I guess the thing is for me, and I imagine a lot of other people jumping off Miss Snark's cliff, is that writing is a secret thing. It's something I keep hidden away from my friends, colleauges and family. To put it out there in front of just about the harshest critic one can imagine is a double edged sword: if Miss Snark approves, then you know you're on to something; if she doesn't, then your writing will slink back into hiding, ashamed of its own reflection.

This is A BIG DEAL.

Whether it should be or not is an entirely different topic. It just is a big deal, rightly or wrongly.

Oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

The Crapometer is in full swing!

Over at Miss Snark's, the fourth Crapometer is in full swing. I am number 248 in the queue (our kind hostess is up to number 169 at the time of writing) so it'll be couple of days before I'm in the firing line. So, far it's been very educational in a number of ways.

Agents (and I suppose editors, for that matter) must have to wade through some crap in their slush piles. Some of the hooks submitted have been pretty good, a few have been superb (number 92 is my favourite so far, closely followed by number 72) but there have been a couple that were unbelievably bad. Kind of like on 'X Factor' when people bereft of any form of talent insist on humiliating themselves in front of Simon Cowell.

A couple of Miss Snark's choices have puzzled me, but I won't comment on them here or on Miss Snark's page as I feel it really isn't my place. And this brings me to a point that's been niggling me since our hostess began tearing through them: isn't a bit presumptuous for anyone other than Miss Snark to critique the hooks on her blog? I mean, over at Elektra's crapometer.blogspot.com it is a given that all and sundry can have a crack at your work, and it was a very useful experience for me. However, when it's Miss Snark's place I don't think anyone has any business criticising someone else's work unless she has specifically asked for the opinions of commenters. I did comment on one hook, and that was to heap praise on it because I thought it was great, but other than that I have abstained. Maybe I'm being arsey about that? I don't know.

Anyway, I shall remain on tenterhooks until my number's up.

Edit - I realised after posting this that, contrary to my claims, I had indeed commented on one of the early hooks. Not only that, I was unduly hard on the author. Feeling suitably sheepish I apologised to them.

I found an old friend...

Still on a high from completing the first draft of my first novel a week ago, I sought out some earlier works to see how they measured up. I unearthed some surprises...

First, I took another look at the project I abandoned mid-September when I started CONDUIT. Reading through, it's nowhere near as bad as I thought it was. The premise is good - a very fresh take on one of the very oldest horror cliches - and the writing itself seems pretty good, but it lacks a strong opening, and I think that's why I lost faith in it. Just too slow to get going. So, at some point in the future I will revisit this idea and see if I can find another way in.

Then, after scouring my house for a CD-R for about an hour, I dug out the nearly-completed novel from a few years ago.

Big surprise.

I really, really, really - I mean REALLY - liked it. Thinking about it, it's almost exactly four years since I started it. I had an intial burst of creativity and hammered out the first 30,000 words in no time at all, then the next 30,000 within a reasonable period of time.

Then I moved house. All the pressures of buying a home, and all the attendant mess and fuss, meant I was away from it for several months. When I finally had time to come back to it, there was just no spark to it for me. Nothing to make me eager to sit at the keyboard so I could find out what happened next. So, it died. Up until I re-read it (I just finished about half an hour ago) I thought the story itself had fallen apart, but I was wrong. It's tight with a clear plot and bags of conflict.

It's three years since I last read the 62,661 words of this nearly novel, and a lot has happened since then. Huge, life altering things. I have lost and gained both friends and lovers. Some to the grave, and some to the petty arguments that go along with life. So, when I read this over the last two days, it was really for the first time - and I loved it!

One very apparent thing - my style has changed drastically since then. I'm not sure if it's better or worse, but it's most definitely different. For one thing, it's pretty obvious I was reading a lot of Carl Hiaassen at the time! It's a sort-of-crime-thriller, with a clear absurdist streak. It's violent, foul-mouthed, and fast as hell with gritty, sparky dialogue. It manages to be a lot of fun but with occasional flashes of a very dark, bitter core.

I guess the question is - do I want to finish it? Yes, I do. A big vacuum has been left by the completion of the first draft of CONDUIT and the need to leave it alone for a while, so this would fill the void nicely.

A bigger question: CAN I finish it? I don't know. The style is so far removed, the rhythm so much more frenetic, I'm not sure if I could drop back into it without it sounding like a completely different person picked up where the other left off - in a way, that's exactly what it would be. I'm a different person from the guy who decided he'd have a crack at a novel four years ago.

Another big problem - genre. My genre is paranormal and horror. My reading is much broader, but for some reason the stories that bubble up from my subconscious tend to be on the dark side. This older piece is crime fiction, and as such is a very different beast and I know for certain I won't write many more like it should I ever be lucky enough to be published.

Whatever happens, I'm going to give it a go. If nothing else it might help go back to CONDUIT with a fresh eye when I start the first proper rewrite.

One week on

It is now seven days since I changed from someone who wants to write a novel into someone who has written a novel. I'm still very happy about crossing that threshold, but I have had a week of ups and downs since then. I've been plagued by insecurity about the book, convincing myself that it's no good. Those insecurities were eased somewhat by the help and encouragement I received when my hook was critiqued (see below).

I have since read the entire novel from start to finish, and I have to admit, I quite enjoyed it! I admit it was too soon - I should have waited at least a week or two to get some distance on it. I will definitely do that before going back over it for the first proper revision.

On this run through I did do a little tweaking here and there. I found some typos the spellchecker had missed. I modified the occasional paragraph to allow for changes in direction the story took. I fiddled with punctuation here and there, replaced the odd word now and then, and generally gave it a quick tidy up. Now I will wait before I go back and really pull it apart.

A few observations on my first complete read through:

1) It's better than I thought. Yeah, I know, I'm hardly the most objective reader this thing's going to get. But I enjoyed it, I really did. It was fun getting to know the characters from the ground up again and seeing how they progressed through the plot. Occasionally, I would find a turn of phrase, a description, a metaphor, or a line of dialogue that made me raise my eyebrows and say to myself, "Here, that's not bad at all."

2) There are less holes in it than I thought I'd find. Of course, there are things that will need addressing when I do the first real rewrite, but less than I imagined there to be.

3) Reading it again in light of agonising over the hook for a few days helped me see where certain aspects of the plot and characters could be reinforced. That, I think, will be the greatest challenge of the rewriting process.

4) It's a very fast read. It's a short book by most standards, but it's certainly a full length novel, so I was surprised by how quickly I tore through it. I honestly don't know if this is good, bad or indifferent. My prose style is pretty straightforward - there's no padding or fluff. It's all show, no tell, as it should be, and there's not much in the line of flowery language. So, it could just be that it's a fast paced page turner - that's being ultra-optimistic. On the other hand, maybe it's a little lightweight. Maybe it needs more meat on its lean framework. Perhaps addressing point three will help rein in the pace a little and lend it some gravitas. Or, maybe it just seems fast because I wrote the damned thing and I already know what happens.

So, it shan't be looked at again at least until after Miss Snark's Crap-O-Meter IV. I have the willpower of a starving dog, but I am determined to leave it be for now. I might not post on here again until after the dreaded 15th unless something extraordinary occurs between now and then.

In the meantime I shall mull over some other ideas. There's one in particular that came to me a week or two ago. It's very bare bones at the moment, but I like the protagonist and the situation he's faced with, so I'll see where it goes. I might also try to find the aborted novel from a few years ago to see if any life can be breathed back into its weathered carcass. After all, it was 60,000 words along when it died on me, so you never know, a fresh perspective might be just the thing to revive it.

The hook - #3

Here's my third, and I think final, version of the hook which I intend to submit to Miss Snark's Crap-o-meter at the end of next week. I must extend my deepest gratitude to those at http://crapometer.blogspot.com/ whose invaluable advice has helped me whip this into shape...

::HOOK BEGINS::

When disgraced clinical psychologist Dr Steven Brady takes the only job he can get, tending the chronic patients in a rundown Manchester mental hospital, he finds the path to redemption more dangerous than he ever imagined. Among the residents is Mary Ward, a young woman with a violent past and a talent for knowing things she shouldn't - including the name that stains Brady's conscience. As Mary tells him of the boy who visits her in the night, the boy whose suicide he failed to prevent two years before, Brady slowly accepts what she is: a conduit, a living link between this world and those beyond.

But someone already knows her true nature.

Billy Crawford is a preacher, a messenger of the Lord, a madman with blood on his hands. Why has he befriended Mary's estranged mother? Why has he persuaded her to fight for her daughter's release after all these years? He keeps the secret close to his heart, lest anyone discover the awful thing that cold voice demands of him…

Growing suspicious, Brady moves to protect Mary, his one hope of atonement - but atonement will cost him dear.

A tense paranormal thriller, complete at 90,000 words, CONDUIT explores the boundaries between mind and spirit, madness and faith, the gifted and the cursed. As it reaches its climax, the struggle between Brady and Crawford unleashes the dreadful power within Mary, and no-one is safe - least of all the girl each man sees as his salvation.

::HOOK ENDS::

What next?

So, I have written a novel. Is it any good? I don't know. I still like the premise and the basic arc of the story, but is it well executed.?

My plan for the firsr revision is as follows...

1. I will sit down and read it.
2. I will correct any obvious mistakes as I do so - any erroneous spellings, dodgy grammar or obviously clunky sentences.
3. I will take notes about plot inconsistencies or gaps in logic (remember, things changed in the course of writing this, including characters)
4. Take a break from it

Second revision...

I will then do all of the above, only this time I will add or remove passages to address point three. If necessary, I will rewrite entire scenes to aid the story

Third revision...

I will repeat the first revision process.

Fourth revision...

I will repeat the second revision process.

Fifth revision...

I will let someone else read and critique it. Now, here's a problem. As I said in a previous post, my best friend is a Doctor of Literature, and as such is ideally placed to provide an honest critique - but, the back story of my protagonist is loosely based on something that occured between me and my friends about eighteen months ago. To cut a long story short, there was a love triangle and it did a lot of damage. This back story might reopen old wounds, so I'm not sure what to do. Either way, an independent critic will be needed at that point.

Finally, I will go back over it sentence by sentence and examine the prose, asking if every single phrase could be better composed, if every last word is the perfect one.

How long will all that take? God knows.

However, I started reading it from page one this evening. I just couldn't resist it!

The hook

I've posted a rejigged hook over at http://crapometer.blogspot.com/ based on the critique provided there, so I thought I might as well put it here too...

::HOOK BEGINS::

When disgraced clinical psychologist Dr Steven Brady takes the only job he can find, tending the chronics in a closure-bound Manchester mental hospital, he finds the path to redemption more dangerous than he could ever have imagined. Among the patients is Mary Ward, a young woman with a violent past and a talent for knowing things she shouldn't - including the name that stains Brady's conscience. As Mary tells him of the boy who visits her in the night, the boy whose suicide he failed to prevent two years before, Brady slowly accepts what she is: a conduit, a living link between this world and those beyond.

But someone already knows her true nature.

Billy Crawford is a preacher, a messenger of the Lord, a madman with blood on his hands. Why has he befriended Mary's estranged mother? Why has he persuaded her to fight for her daughter's release after all these years? He keeps the secret close to his heart, lest anyone discover the awful thing that cold voice told him to do…

Realising the threat, Brady sees a way to atone for his past - protect Mary at all costs.
A tense paranormal thriller, complete at 90,000 words, CONDUIT explores the boundaries between the mind and spirit, madness and faith, the gifted and the cursed. As it reaches its climax the struggle between Brady and Crawford unleashes the dreadful power within Mary, and no-one is safe - least of all the girl each man sees as his salvation.

::HOOK ENDS::

Any comments welcome.

IT'S FINISHED!!! Word count 76,598 (wp) 92,590 (pr)

Crack open the champagne! It's done! I typed the closing words just a couple of hours ago and I'm a bit emotional.

I have just fulfilled one of my life's greatest ambitions. Whether it's any good or not, at this moment in time, is another issue entirely. I'm just happy that I've finally written a whole novel. A whole novel, a dirty great big string of characters and words and sentences and paragraphs and scenes and chapters, all coming together to tell a story that came out of my head!

I intend to drink some beer in the very near future, tomorrow's work be damned!

Of course there still remains the matter of rewriting, rejigging and generally polishing this thing. I'll leave it a while, though, so I can hopefully come at it with a fresh eye.

As mentioned in a previous post I emailed the hook for Miss Snarks's Crap-o-Meter for preliminary critique over at http://crapometer.blogspot.com/ a few days ago. In one of life's strange moments of serendipity I browsed over there within an hour of finishing the novel to find that it had been posted and commented on! I'm delighted to say the comments were broadly positive (I was sweating over that) and some very thoughtful, constructive observations were made. I intend to act on them in a day or two when I come back to the hook.

Today is a good day!

Almost finished! Word count 74,831 (wp) 90,475 (pr)

Just a quickie to say it's nearly finished! Next time I post (later today, I hope) it will be done, my first ever completed novel! You'll notice that the PR word count is reduced - that's because I've decided to use the version of the printer's rule that says you count the words in a fairly dense set of ten lines, work out what that means per page, then multiply that by the number of pages. In my case, that's 235 words per page, making 90,475.

Nearly finished!!!

Where does the time go? Word count 70,298 (wp) 89,750 (pr)

I just realised how long it is since i last posted. Not since Sunday. Well, I've been a busy boy. My novel just crested the 70,000 word peak (nearer 90,00 if you use printer's rule) making it the longest thing I've ever written by a long way.

So, where are we? The antagonist is in full swing, doing his worst, cutting a swathe through minor characters left right and centre so he can get at my two protagonits (the male and female ones). This section is proving difficult. Other parts of the novel have featured action sequences which I was quite pleased with, but I'm finding this sustained run of events hard going. I'm just plugging through it, but I reckon it'll need some serious work in rewrites.

BTW, I emailed my 250 word hook that'll be entered in Miss Snark's Crap-O-Meter IV to another blog that serves as a kind of testing ground. It's http://crapometer.blogspot.com/ - writers post bits and bobs for critique and it makes quite useful reading. I wait with baited breath to see how I get on - I'll post as soon as I know...